Joke

Ek Budha Ek ladki se Takraya....
Budha: Sorry...

Ladki: Andha hai kya.....Dikhta nah!!

Jaise hi aage badhi, Ek handsome
ladka us ladki se takra gaya...

Ladka: Sorry...

Ladki: It's okay!!

.
.
Budha ladki se bolta hai"MERI
SORRY KI SPELLING GALAT THI
KYA??":p

Joke

Zindagi mtlb kya.. ?
"Ek dhundli si shaam, 4 dost. 4 Cup chai, 1 Table..":)
.
.
Zindagi...mtlb kya..?
"1 innova car, 7 dost, aur 1 khula lamba pahadi Raasta"
.
Zindagi...mtlb kya.?
"1 dost ka ghar, Halki si Baarish, aur dher saari baatein..:)
.
Zindagi...mtlb kya..?
"school ke dost, Bunk Kiya hua
Lecture, 1 kachori, 2 samose aur bill par hone wala jhagda... :p
.
Zindagi...mtlb kya...?
"Phone uthate hi pdhne wali dost ki mithi se gaali, aur Sorry kehne par 1 aur gaali" :p
.
Zindagi...mtlb kya..?
"Kuch saalon baad, Aachanak purane dost ka 1 sms, Dhundli padi kuch bhigi yadein aur Ankho me aaye aansu. :'(

Joke

Wife:
Come help me plant my chillies
Husband:
What do u think I am?
A gardener
Wife:
Come fix the toilet drain
Husband:
What do u think I am?
A plumber?
Wife:
Come fix the door handle
Husband:
What do u think I am?
A carpenter?
The husband went out....
But when he came back, he saw that everything was fixed.
The chillie garden,
the toilet drain &
the door handle.
He asked his wife who had done it?
The wife said its the neighbour's son, but he gave me 2 options....
Either 2 make him a burger or
have sex with him.
Husband:
I'm sure u gave him a burger!
Wife:
What do u think I am?
McDonalds?

Joke

Two men, one A and B  were sitting in a bar
drinking shot after shot.

The B man said to the A, “You know my parents are
forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven’t even met once.” We call this

arranged marriage.

I don’t want to marry a woman whom I don’t love… I told them that openly and now have a hell lot of family problems

The A said, Talking about love marriages… I’ll tell you my story.

I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years. After a couple of years, my father fell in love with

my step-daughter and so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father’s father-in-law.

Legally now my daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother.

More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father’s brother and so he is my uncle. Situations turned

worse when my father had a son. Now my father’s son i.e. my brother is my grandson.

Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson.

And you say you have family problems…

joke

A priest dies & is waiting in line at heaven's gate. Ahead of him is a guy who is fashionably dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.

God to the guy: Who are you?

Guy: I am a taxi driver from Delhi

God: Take this gold robe & enter kingdom of heaven.

God to the priest: Who are you?

Priest: I am a priest & spent 40 years preaching good to people

God: Take this cotton robe & enter heaven.

Priest: God, how come that foul mouthed, rash driver gets a gold & I spent all my life preaching good, get a cotton robe?

God: Results, my son, results. While you preached, people slept. When he drove, people really prayed.

Its performance, not position that counts...

Imotional

An awesome poem you must read...

"NOT AS HAPPY AS U"

Sometimes in life we feel so blue,
But someone, somewhere is not as happy as u.

Somewhere far at the border when a soldier sleeps,
Missing his loved ones he silently weeps.

Somewhere a mother painfully sighs,
Coz her new born baby didnt open her eyes.

Somewhere a poor dad silently cries,
When he sees his son begging for a bowl of rice.

Somewhere in an orphanage a little girl's sad,
When she misses her mom n dad.

So at times a reason to smile u may not have any,
Say to urself that u're happier than many.

Coz life is beautiful and.

its not always blue,

And someone, somewhere is not as happy as u xU xQ!!

Joke

Dadi marte hue boli : "Beta me apna farm, 6 tractor, 50 janwar n 22,389,630 cash tmhare naam karti
hoon..
.
.
.
.

Ladka:"dadi ye sub hai kaha.. ??
.
.
.
.
.
.

Dadi:"Farmville­ on Facebook..:p :O=)) X_X

Joke

Silly horror movie dialogue:
.
.
Girl: "Kaun hai?
Kaun hai wahan?"
.
.
.
Bolti to aise hain jaise Bhootkhud
bolega,
.
.
.
.
"Haa Jaanu, Main hu, Kitchen mein
Pakode tal raha hu, Khaogi kya" :p

Thought

A man was walking on a shaking bridge.
He prayed 4 help.
He saw GOD on the other side of the bridge n asked GOD 2 cum near.
But GOD didn't!
Man got angry. Wit great difficulty, he crossed 2 the other side.

AND
Saw GOD holding the broken bridge!
Trust him...
His ways r just amazing....

facts

‎10 things a girl probably doesn't know about a guy :p

1. Guys are more emotional then they think, if they loved them truly.

2. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

3. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

4. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

5. Guys are more emotional than they'd like people to think.

6. Girls are guys' weaknesses.

7. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

8. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."

9. No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.

10. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.

joke

Ek student ko apni Life mein,

khud par Sabse Jyada proud kab

hota hai ?

.

.

Jab usko Exam mein kuch na aataho, Aur pichhe se teacher aake

kahe,

?

?

?

? ?

?

?

Copy chhupa lo Pichhe wala

dekh raha hai....

.

Kasam se seena chaura ho jata..:D

Joke

Engineering Student in viva :

Examiner to Student: which type of electrical

transmission wire system is used for high voltage

transmission.

Student: 3 Phase.

Examiner: How many wires are needed? Student: 3 wires, one for each phase.

Examiner: Then, what is the fourth one in some

cases?

.

.

.

. .

.

.

Student: The 4th is for the birds to sit.

Joke

Hindustani se panga...?? 

Na Munna Na... 

American :- ye Kutub Minar kitne din main

bana hai ?

Indian :- 1 mahine main

...

American :- yeh hamare Country mein 

to 2 weeks mein ban jati hai....

Thoda aage jane k baad phir poocha: Yeh Lal

kila kitne din mein bana hai?

Indian :- Sirf 2 weeks mein 

American :- hamare Country mein to 3

days mein ban jati hai...

Taj Mahal k paas se guzre toh american

ne pucha :- Yeh Taj Mahal kitne din

mein bani hai ?

..

.,..

.

Indian :- Pataa nahi Kal shaam tak to Nahin tha..... :D

indian rocked

Joke

Solid Beijjati:

.

.

Ek Doctor ne naya clinic khola.

.

.

Thodi daer bad ek Aadmi aaya.

.

Doctor ne apne aap ko busy show karne k liye, telephone kareceiver uthaya aur

appointment denay k andaz me bolne

laga.

.

Fir phone rakne k baad...

. Doctor Aadmi se: Haan bataiye kya hua?

.

.

.

Aadmi: Bsnl se aaya hun, telephone

activate karne k liye

Joke

Boy:"Ro kyu rahi ho ??:p 

.

Girl:"Mere marks bahot kam aaye hai.:'( .

.

Boy:"Bata kitne aaye hai.. ??:O 

.

.

Girl:"Sirf 88 % 

.

Boy:"Khuda ka khauf kar Kamini itne mein to 2 ladke pass ho jate hain...:pX_X =))

Killing English

1. Principal To Student..." I Saw U Yesterday Rotating Near Girls Hostel Pulling Cigarette... ? "

2. Class Teacher Once Said :" Pick Up The Paper And Fall In The Dustbin!!!"

3. Once Hindi Teacher Said...."I'm Going Out Of The World To America.."

4. "..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."

5. Don't..Laugh At The Back Benches...Otherwise Teeth And All Will Be Fallen Down.....

6. It Was Very Hot In The Afternoon When The Teacher Entered.. She Tried To Switch The Fan On, But There Was Some Problem. And Then She Said " Why Is Fan Not Oning" (Ing Form Of On)

7. Teacher In A Furious Mood... Write Down Ur Name And Father Of Ur Name!!

8. "Shhh... Quiet... The Principal Is Revolving Around College"

9. My Manager Started Like This "Hi, I Am Madhu, Married With Two Kids"

10. "Will U Hang That Calendar Or Else I'll HANG MYSELF"

11. LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"

12. Chemistry HOD Comes And Tells Us... "My Aim Is To Study My Son And Marry My Daughter"

13. Tomorrow Call Ur Parents Especially Mother And Father

14. "Why Are You Looking At The Monkeys Outside When I Am In The Class?!"

15. Lab Assistant Said This When My Friend Wrote Wrong Code.. "I Understand. You Understand. Computer How Understand??

16. Seeing The Principal Passing By, The Teacher Told The Noisy Class.. "Keep Quiet, The Principal Has Passed Away"

17. Once Teacher Told "If U Talk So Loudly I Will Stand Uping U"

18. Teacher To Students:Don't Spit Outside, The Understanding People Will Suffer

19. I Have 3 Daughters, All Are Girl

Joke

Old Concept:"Do Or Die" 

New Concept:"Do Before U Die"

Latest Concept: "Dont Die Until U Do".. 

Our Concept:"Koi batayega aakhir karna kya hai?"

Message

There are lots of desires in my heart

There are lots of sorrows in my life

This world would have killed me since long

But Damn, there is lot of strength in the prayers of my friends..

Joke

kissing a girl on her forehead is respect,, 

kissing a girl on her cheek is care,, 

kissing a girl on her eyes is care & love,, 

kissing a girl on her lips is love,, 

but kissing a girl in front of her boyfriend..... HUD HUD DABANGG DABANGG DABANGG ..... :D :D

Joke

Teacher : promise karo kabhi cigarette nahi piyoge

All Students : Nahi piyenge sir kabhi nahi pienge,.

Teacher : Promise karo kabhi sharab nahi piyoge

All Students: kabhi nahi pienge sir,

Teacher : promise karo kabhi kisi ladki ki taraf dekhoge bhi nahi

All Students : Nahi dekhenge,

Teacher : Promise karo desh ke liye apni jaan de doge.

All Students: Jaan bhi de denge sir aisi jaan rakh k karenge bhi kya..:p=D :D

Students rocx

Joke

Khatrnak student -> Mere jesa :P :P

Master To Student:

A B C D Se Shuru Honay Walay Alphabets Se Sentence Banao.?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Student:

A=Apni

B=Beti ka

C=Cell Number

D=Dijiye ...... :p :O

Joke

Boy:"Aaj accident hua,uff

Marte- Marte bacha hu..

.

Dad:"Tumhari hi galti hogi..

.

Maa:"Beta thik to ho na.. ??

.

Sis:"Bhai kahi chot to nahi aayi.. ??

.

Bro:"Yaar dhayan se chalayakar..

.

Lover:"Tumhe mera Jara bhi khayal nahi..

&

Friend:"

.?

.?

Ohh shit yaar..TEHRVI ke Laddu Milte-Milte reh gaye...:p:O :D

Moral:"Dost hote hi kamine hai.. :p

Jokes

Pappu & Ladki standing on the bus stop:

Pappu to ladki: nice lipistic

ladki : thanks

Pappu : nice top & jeans

ladki : thanks

.

Pappu : nice ear-ring

ladki : thanks

.

Pappu : nice neckless .

Ladki : Aawwwwwwwwww thank u so much BHAIYA:))

.

Pappu: kamaal hai fir bhi bilkul chudel lag rahi ho:D ;) ;)

Jokes

Kavi ka beta School Me..:p

Teacher:"what is Noun.. ?? 

Student:"Arz karta hoon, 

Kutta bhi hota Hai apni gali mein king, 

Wah wah.. 

Kutta Bhi Hota hai Apni gali mein King.. 

Noun is a Name Of any person, 

place or thing.

Leadership Quotations

Do not follow where the path may lead.
Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
(Harold R. McAlindon)




Leadership: The art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.
(Dwight D. Eisenhower)





What chance gathers she easily scatters. A great person attracts great people and knows how to hold them together.
(Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe)